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Any item of food that is routinely not eaten.

Best exemplified by the little white plastic bag of salad that comes – unrequested – with absolutely every delivery curry.


The ceaseless stream of superlatives and self-important nonsense spouted by critics, soiling pretty much any BBC rockumentary

”Everyone who was at that gig went away different people”
“Not many people bought the first Velvets album, but absolutely everyone who did went on to form a band”
“They created an imaginary world and invited you to join it”


The socially awkward situation created by an unsigned text message from someone who clearly assumes they’re in your phone book, but they’re not.

“Hi. It’s been ages. Wanna meet up next week?”