Categories
Uncategorized

The binary bind

Cheap rhetorical trick of making someone look evasive by forcing upon them a limited choice of answers when the situation is really more complex.

“Will you absolutely, 100% commit to saving the planet, yes or no? It’s a simple question!”

Categories
Uncategorized

Gastronomical

Media_http3bpblogspot_fsxhv

A restaurant whose prices are more substantial than their portions

Categories
Uncategorized

Voicemaul

To deliberately wait till someone’s phone is off before calling – thus allowing you to leave a message rather than actually have to say it to them

Categories
Uncategorized

frinkling

The socially awkward situation of leaving work at the same time as a little-known colleague and then having to make small talk with them all the way to the train station.

Frinkling is so hideous to the British that they will often make up imaginary errands or take wild detours to avoid being forced to think up non-work subjects with the man from accounts.

Categories
Uncategorized

Grundywang

The phenomenom by which, whatever time you come home from work, when you switch on Radio 4, it’s always midway through the Archers

Categories
Uncategorized

Cluff

The Aaaah… sound that people make exclusively and particularly after the first sip of ‘a really good cup of tea’

Categories
Uncategorized

Cello-pain

Media_http1bpblogspot_lkpjd

Wanting to play your new CD/DVD but being frustrated by the unnecessary and seamless cellophane packaging. Guaranteed to break teeth or require scissors that scratch the case.

Categories
Uncategorized

Crashpoint

Media_http4bpblogspot_evvtc

The fruitless jab-jabbing of your card in an ATM machine that is still chirpily displaying “thank you for using” long after the last customer has gone

Categories
Uncategorized

wurds

Words that you regularly mis-type, causing loss of concentration as you cursor back to fix them

eg, incerase for increase or filed for field

Categories
Uncategorized

Cousteau Cream

Media_http1bpblogspot_iwzqe

A biscuit that breaks off during dunking and sinks to a wet, sugary grave of tea

Categories
Uncategorized

Hourbottom

Media_http3bpblogspot_dcmdn

The clock you don’t know how to adjust so stays wrong by one hour until springtime

Categories
Uncategorized

Bah code

Media_http2bpblogspot_bxqtd

The crumpled barcode on a plastic packet that the cashier has to grumpily type in manually

Categories
Uncategorized

Chonsil

Media_http2bpblogspot_ohdeh

The little sticky-out bit inside your cheek due to accidentally, and painfully, biting yourself

Categories
Uncategorized

Toothwaste

Media_http4bpblogspot_vrhta

The toothpaste that falls into the sink when you knock the brush over while trying to put the cap back on

Categories
Uncategorized

Tile Fever

The hard to suppress excitement of knowing you have a fantastic seven letter word ready for your next turn at Scrabble.

It’s bittersweet because there’s there’s always the danger that that your opponent will spoil it by inadvertently going there

Categories
Uncategorized

Phring

Media_http1bpblogspot_islbj

A phantom ring. When you reach in to your pocket to get your vibrating mobile only to find that you there’s no missed call and must have imagined it.

Categories
Uncategorized

The little lava

The hot trickle of water inside your ear after you get out of the swimming pool and violently shake your head to clear the block

Categories
Uncategorized

The shelf-keeper

The condemned soul employed by Pret a Manger to stand in front of you shuffling sandwiches around the shelves for all eternity

Categories
Uncategorized

typpos

Minor typos in emails you’ve spotted buyt can’t be bothered to correct before sending.

Advanced, devious usage: deliberately mis-typing a word in an email you’ve just spent ages getting right in order to make it lookk like you just dashed it off casually

Categories
Uncategorized

Fakebook

Media_http2bpblogspot_jhmpl

To have a second, squeaky clean, identity on Facebook to foil vetting by future employers