Cheap rhetorical trick of making someone look evasive by forcing upon them a limited choice of answers when the situation is really more complex.
“Will you absolutely, 100% commit to saving the planet, yes or no? It’s a simple question!”Tag: words I made up
Gastronomical
A restaurant whose prices are more substantial than their portions
Voicemaul
To deliberately wait till someone’s phone is off before calling – thus allowing you to leave a message rather than actually have to say it to them
frinkling
The socially awkward situation of leaving work at the same time as a little-known colleague and then having to make small talk with them all the way to the train station.
Frinkling is so hideous to the British that they will often make up imaginary errands or take wild detours to avoid being forced to think up non-work subjects with the man from accounts.Grundywang
The phenomenom by which, whatever time you come home from work, when you switch on Radio 4, it’s always midway through the Archers
Cluff
The Aaaah… sound that people make exclusively and particularly after the first sip of ‘a really good cup of tea’
Cello-pain
Wanting to play your new CD/DVD but being frustrated by the unnecessary and seamless cellophane packaging. Guaranteed to break teeth or require scissors that scratch the case.
Crashpoint
The fruitless jab-jabbing of your card in an ATM machine that is still chirpily displaying “thank you for using” long after the last customer has gone
wurds
Words that you regularly mis-type, causing loss of concentration as you cursor back to fix them
eg, incerase for increase or filed for fieldCousteau Cream
A biscuit that breaks off during dunking and sinks to a wet, sugary grave of tea
Hourbottom
The clock you don’t know how to adjust so stays wrong by one hour until springtime
Bah code
The crumpled barcode on a plastic packet that the cashier has to grumpily type in manually
Chonsil
The little sticky-out bit inside your cheek due to accidentally, and painfully, biting yourself
Toothwaste
The toothpaste that falls into the sink when you knock the brush over while trying to put the cap back on
Tile Fever
The hard to suppress excitement of knowing you have a fantastic seven letter word ready for your next turn at Scrabble.
It’s bittersweet because there’s there’s always the danger that that your opponent will spoil it by inadvertently going therePhring
A phantom ring. When you reach in to your pocket to get your vibrating mobile only to find that you there’s no missed call and must have imagined it.
The little lava
The hot trickle of water inside your ear after you get out of the swimming pool and violently shake your head to clear the block
The shelf-keeper
The condemned soul employed by Pret a Manger to stand in front of you shuffling sandwiches around the shelves for all eternity
typpos
Minor typos in emails you’ve spotted buyt can’t be bothered to correct before sending.
Advanced, devious usage: deliberately mis-typing a word in an email you’ve just spent ages getting right in order to make it lookk like you just dashed it off casuallyFakebook
To have a second, squeaky clean, identity on Facebook to foil vetting by future employers