Along with mince pies in Pret and the opening of Advent calendars, the outside fridge is the first sign of Christmas. This humble Perspex box, guarded carefully by twin Buddhas, will hold overflow seasonal food and drink at wintery temperature until early January.
I’ve taken the day off to see my friend Eddie at his offices inside Bletchley Park – yes, the WWII secret code-breaking centre. It’s going to be great to spend the afternoon with him as always, but there’s a massive added benefit this time.
Eddie has recently taken delivery of an original arcade copy of Defender. This is by some distance the best video game of all time. Well, it’s my favourite anyway.
I was 12 or 13 when it first came out and it’s worth remembering that none of us had ever seen anything like it. We were the first digital generation. Other than LED calculators and James Bond’s watch, no-one had seen anything that even glowed.
And here came these games, placed in cafés and seedy arcades. Rows of stand-up machines in darkened rooms that lit up with fast moving lights and pulsed with 8-bit rhythms years before techno.
Defender stood out for many reasons. It was the first sideways-scroller, had sound effects that still sound phenomenal today and… it was incredibly hard. When playing it you really felt plugged into the machine. It had five buttons and a joystick which meant both hands were permanently attached to the controls and the speed and colour and ever-present threat of imminent death meant the whole thing was an adrenaline rush. The creator, Eugene Jarvis, is a legend and also created Stargate (the sequel), Joust and the also incredible Robotron 2084.
That’s knocking on 30 years ago, but I’m unapologetically excited about a nostalgic afternoon of blasting batters, dodging mutants and smart-bombing pods.
Bet I’ll still be rubbish at it though.
Watching NFL on C4. I went to the first Wembley game in 2007 & excitedly took photos with my then brand new first gen iPhone.
The Standard East Village hotel isn’t that great (in my spoiled middle class opinion), but the view is captivating
Still the funniest thing on the internet
VOISEOVER: In a Citey wher thers Somuchcrimes , theDetetcive is onthe Case… DETETCIVE: Stop crimeing! VOISEOVER: But Oneproblam… Crimer!
VOISEOVER: Crimer is did Themost crimes. CRIMER: (writing in diary) Did Somuchcrimes… VOISEOVER: And hes get Hotbabes. CRIMER: Im am Hot
HOTBABE: Heye whats Yorname ? CRIMER: Names is Crimer .Ido crimes. HOTBABE: You is have Sexeymusles ! CRIMER: Heybabe thatsjus me… Crimer
DETETCIVE: We knowyu dide all them crimes.Youcant nowher to turn, Crimer! CRIMER: Im not did them crimes. (turns to camera) Im did all them
I spent a big chunk of my teens in the local arcades, feeding ten pence pieces into coin-ops. There was nothing retro or ironic about these games from Atari, Namco and Williams – they were our first, dizzying experience of electronic culture. The colourful fast-changing pixels, twitching speed and space-age 8-bit sounds sometimes came together with a playability that thrilled the first digital generation.
1. Defender
2. Crystal Castles
3. Metro Cross
4. Marble Madness
5. Track and Field
6. Star Wars (vector)
7. Robotron
8. Out Run
9. Donkey Kong
10. Scramble
Loving the new crime novel by JK Rowling (under the Robert Galbraith pseudonym).
Great read – kinda like a grounded Dirk Gently
From Clive James’ Unreliable Memoirs, volume II
