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Official Prediction Game Baby – Euroguff day 19

Congratulations to Euroguffer Lorem Ipsum (@JonDavie) and wife Amanda. Jon may be languishing in 63rd position, but he is officially top of the world after fathering a small child in the early hours of yesterday morning.??

By the grace of God, the world's newest Scouser arrived at 4.30am Monday morning, thus avoiding England's penalty exit being his first experience of the world.
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??- Available in all good branches of Aldi, yesterday

Sort of NSFW
In case you've not seen this yet,??England Fan Flashes Italian Penalty Taker

Your favourite football cliches
"It's a game of two halves" was particularly popular:

Andy Grey Ron Atkinson on Chile's options: "Chile have three options ??? they could win or they could lose. It???s up to them, the tide is in their court now."
DK Willy In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol – it was the worst 20 minutes of my life
Tim Henman "Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes."?? – HRH Brian Clough
2012sheds gave it 110%
Dario Made-the-Gradi You just can't do that at this level!
Bayer Neverlusen "Rome wasn't built in a day. But I wasn't on that particuar job."
Roy Hodgson Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.
Sepp Bladder The world cup – truly an international event
El Pringle Interesting, very interesting.
Mike Bassett I'm not getting ahead of myself. I'm just taking it one tie-breaker at a time.
Simon Grayson It's a bad time to concede ('cause there are good times??)
roy the hodgson football,bloody hell!
B B Foot At the end of the day
McFuddle 'O Toole Did you smash it?
Benny The Ball Like I said, we gave it 110% like I said.
Strev87 'Football is not a matter of life or death, but rather something more important'
Scotty McNasty For a big lad, he's good with his feet
Steve Mclaren If football was meant to be played in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there.
Ronaldo McDonald?? "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." Ron Atkinson

Or anything by Ron, hilarious :)??
Don revie Dirty Leeds
Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box) The most important thing is that we got the three points (Wayne Bridge aka Trigger as Chelsea beat Arsenal in the Carling Cup Final)
Earsane Wanger It's a game of 2 halves innit?
Tom Laidlaw You don't win games without scoring goals.
Toy Dodgson It's balls in the back of the net that count….
Brown Fox I AM NOT A WHEELER DEALER.
Harry Redface Eeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaauuuuuuhhhhhhhhhaaaaawwwwwwwwww…Unbelievable!!!!! (Gary Neville – Torres Goal / Semi final Champion's League)
Ivor Greatidea I just hit it
George Osborne is a twat "These things tend to even themselves out over the course of a season"
Arsenedof Nowhere He's got a great left peg
Septic Tank Charlton Isn't it called soccer?
Simoneo Huesserelli Every game is a cup final now
Lorem Ipsum Football.?? Bloody Hell.
Bring Back Bobby Robson Pump it at the big man – England manager
Tiki taka my arse – England fan
We're just not very good at football – England Dan
Mr. Awesome Jose Mourinho is a little twat.
Naven Johnson I will lost this tiebreaker for sure 😉
Mrs Euroguff Tremendous!
Is Pele Playing? It usually comes down to which team scores the most.
Toy Bodgson Football's just a branch of science
Kicker Conspiracy Eyebrows to the back stick
Canary Its a gmae of 2 halves
Soccer Sage The team that scores the most points will win.
Yankee's Spankers two world wars and one world cup, doodah, doodah
Bill Shankly Not so much a cliche, more the best fan shout I've ever heard.

At CPFC, Alan Pinkney was having a shocker. The shout went up "Pinkney, you're so shite they should take you off and bring on Perkney!!"

Gazza If Everton were playing at the bottom of the garden, I'd pull the curtains.
Paulo Di Harringtonio "Sh*t – did you see that?" – Alan Partridge
Mozzer Alex Ferguson

"Football. Bloody hell!"

Hansi Mueller after the match is before the match
Vuvuzela???? Andi M??ller: Mailand oder Madrid – Hauptsache Italien!

Andy Moeller: Milan or Madrid – mainly Italy!

Wheat Dodger It's a game of two halves.
Wicked Woy Wodgson I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.
Fabio Crapello It's a game of two halves…
Christophe Woodini It's a game of two halves??
Anjusha Klins-Morinho It's a game of two halves!
Big Ron Colonel Saunders its deja vue all over again
Hatch's Heros Six of one, half a dozen of another.
Trap A Tony I think there gonna try and nick one early door and then park the bus / shut up shop (delete as necessary).??
The Special [Measures] One "If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half-time, it was concentration and focus."
Messi Gardener It's a game of two halves.??
Stevie's Wunders My heart goes out to the lads.??
Normski Gunner We need to give 110% to win this game and we will give that maximum effort today, Brian!
Claudio Inglesias Failte We were robbed
Letina lotagoals?? DES … It's the bitter tasting icing on the filthy tasting cake.?? …. I've e
Dirk Diggler "He's playing in the hole"
Del Garnett The boy's done good, you know, he's covered every inch of grass out there
Swiss T "With the offense you win games, but with the defense you win championships."

And here is the one I hate (consider that I am swiss and we are not participating): "Every defeat is a victory in itself."??

Euroguff University – West Germany v Italy, semi-final World Cup, Mexico 70
As a forerunner of Thursday's match, let's look back to a previous encounter (cold war nomenclature discounted) between these teams. A great match, in the days where games had jazz-samba soundtracks and incredible tracksuits.??Given that stretchers are mandatory today for cramp, it's quite astonishing that Beckenbauer dislocates his shoulder and just gets up by himself.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS2wo_EF3PU?wmode=transparent]

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Tweets for my tweet, sugar for my honey??

Wimbledon starts today – Euroguff day 18

And I had so many ideas for headlines
"Anti pasta"; crude photoshops of the Italian Job; maybe a Cornetto reference or two. The lot!

If only Joe Hart had been to Euroguff University

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Well done to Italy
Fully deserved. And they saved us from what would have been exactly the same fate (but worse) v Germany on Thursday.

NEVER MIND!??
England may be out, but Euroguff is immortal. Three more games to go and anyone could win* All the quarter final exit points are now in, but there are 16 points still to play for.

Kafka Time Loop ??
1 Paulo Di Harringtonio Paul Harrington 72
2= Fabio Crapello Martin B 64
2= Stevie's Wunders Steve Andrews 64
4= Brown Fox Jim Chambers 62
4= Swiss T Thomas Angst 62
6= Ronaldo McDonald?? Cephas Howard?? 60
6= Yankee's Spankers Dave Robertshaw 60
6= Vuvuzela???? Sandra Benfer 60
6= Anjusha Klins-Morinho Anna Wilson 60
10= Tim Henman david hickson 58
10= Sepp Bladder Carl Mesner Lyons 58
10= Simon Grayson Paul Revy 58
10= Arsenedof Nowhere Darren Hanson 58
10= Simoneo Huesserelli Simon Huesser 58
10= Gazza Gary Taylor 58
16= B B Foot Rory 56
16= Mrs Euroguff Mrs Carlosfandango_ 56
16= Canary Simon Barnes 56
16= Christophe Woodini Chris Wood 56
16= Hatch's Heros Chris Matthews 56
16= Letina lotagoals?? Berry 56
22= DK Willy DK 54
22= roy the hodgson harvey 54
22= Harry Redface Dan McGrath 54
22= Naven Johnson Eddie Vassallo 54
22= Kicker Conspiracy Tim Fiddies 54
22= Hansi Mueller Bernd Friedle 54
28= Scotty McNasty Andrew Robb 52
28= Mozzer Paul Conroy 52
28= Wheat Dodger Leanne McGirr 52
28= The Special [Measures] One Tim Donnelly Smith 52
28= Del Garnett Darren Gavigan 52
33= Don revie Simon Andrews 50
33= Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box) Matt Brooke-Smith 50
33= Earsane Wanger Paul Shaw 50
33= Tom Laidlaw Tom Laidlaw 50
33= Toy Dodgson Kelsey O 50
33= Ivor Greatidea Steve Edney 50
33= Is Pele Playing? John Orta 50
33= Wicked Woy Wodgson David Patterson 50
41= Andy Grey Darren Holdaway 48
41= Dario Made-the-Gradi David of Crook 48
41= Toy Bodgson Tom Barton 48
41= Dirk Diggler Nik Goodman 48
45= Benny The Ball Nick Townend 46
45= Bring Back Bobby Robson Dan Jamieson 46
45= Trap A Tony Tony Power 46
48= 2012sheds Pete smith 44
48= El Pringle Keith Pringle 44
48= Steve Mclaren JT 44
48= Mr. Awesome Geroge Pokorny 44
48= Big Ron Colonel Saunders Andrew Hartland 44
48= Normski Gunner Norman House 44
48= Claudio Inglesias Failte Claude Tonna-Barthet 44
55= Bayer Neverlusen Rob Broome 42
55= Roy Hodgson John Catterfeld 42
55= Mike Bassett Eamonn Newell 42
55= McFuddle 'O Toole Gordon?? 42
55= George Osborne is a twat Andy Young 42
55= Bill Shankly Bob Steadman 42
61= Strev87 dave strevett 40
61= Septic Tank Charlton Jeremy Crisp 40
63= Lorem Ipsum Jon D 38
63= Messi Gardener Johnny T?? 38
65 Soccer Sage Mike Xenakis 36

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Comfort Tweeting

* winners don't do drugs

Will our boys get a semi? Euroguff day 17

The Germans await and, increasingly, England expects.??

How will the papers take the result? We asked Dr Emmet Brown to explain tabloid timelines:

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Free England hat!

Simply follow these instructions to support the Engerland

  1. Print out this bowler hat
  2. Ask an adult to use some scissors to carefully cut round the edge
  3. Use double-sided Sellotape and stick onto a Cornflakes packet
  4. That's it!
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Standings
Can anyone catch Paulo Di Harringtono?

My Name is, my name is Slim Shady ??
1 Paulo Di Harringtonio Paul Harrington 68
2= Ronaldo McDonald?? Cephas Howard?? 60
2= Yankee's Spankers Dave Robertshaw 60
2= Fabio Crapello Martin B 60
2= Stevie's Wunders Steve Andrews 60
6= Tim Henman david hickson 58
6= Simon Grayson Paul Revy 58
6= Brown Fox Jim Chambers 58
6= Arsenedof Nowhere Darren Hanson 58
6= Gazza Gary Taylor 58
6= Swiss T Thomas Angst 58
12= B B Foot Rory 56
12= Mrs Euroguff Mrs Carlosfandango_ 56
12= Vuvuzela???? Sandra Benfer 56
12= Christophe Woodini Chris Wood 56
12= Anjusha Klins-Morinho Anna Wilson 56
17= DK Willy DK 54
17= Sepp Bladder Carl Mesner Lyons 54
17= roy the hodgson harvey 54
17= Simoneo Huesserelli Simon Huesser 54
17= Naven Johnson Eddie Vassallo 54
17= Kicker Conspiracy Tim Fiddies 54
17= Hansi Mueller Bernd Friedle 54
24= Canary Simon Barnes 52
24= Mozzer Paul Conroy 52
24= Hatch's Heros Chris Matthews 52
24= The Special [Measures] One Tim Donnelly Smith 52
24= Letina lotagoals?? Berry 52
29= Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box) Matt Brooke-Smith 50
29= Harry Redface Dan McGrath 50
29= Is Pele Playing? John Orta 50
32= Dario Made-the-Gradi David of Crook 48
32= Scotty McNasty Andrew Robb 48
32= Toy Bodgson Tom Barton 48
32= Wheat Dodger Leanne McGirr 48
32= Del Garnett Darren Gavigan 48
37= Benny The Ball Nick Townend 46
37= Don revie Simon Andrews 46
37= Earsane Wanger Paul Shaw 46
37= Tom Laidlaw Tom Laidlaw 46
37= Toy Dodgson Kelsey O 46
37= Ivor Greatidea Steve Edney 46
37= Wicked Woy Wodgson David Patterson 46
37= Trap A Tony Tony Power 46
45= Andy Grey Darren Holdaway 44
45= 2012sheds Pete smith 44
45= Steve Mclaren JT 44
45= Big Ron Colonel Saunders Andrew Hartland 44
45= Normski Gunner Norman House 44
45= Dirk Diggler Nik Goodman 44
51= Bayer Neverlusen Rob Broome 42
51= Roy Hodgson John Catterfeld 42
51= Mike Bassett Eamonn Newell 42
51= McFuddle 'O Toole Gordon?? 42
51= George Osborne is a twat Andy Young 42
51= Bring Back Bobby Robson Dan Jamieson 42
51= Bill Shankly Bob Steadman 42
58= El Pringle Keith Pringle 40
58= Septic Tank Charlton Jeremy Crisp 40
58= Mr. Awesome Geroge Pokorny 40
58= Claudio Inglesias Failte Claude Tonna-Barthet 40
62 Messi Gardener Johnny T?? 38
63= Strev87 dave strevett 36
63= Soccer Sage Mike Xenakis 36
65 Lorem Ipsum Jon D 34
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??- David Cameron offering moral guidance, yesterday

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